In a recent mini-session, I had the privilege of connecting with someone struggling to relax and access the answers within their subconscious mind. This experience is not uncommon, and it’s essential to unravel the layers of what might be causing this restlessness.
Allow me to extend my empathy, as I too lived in a perpetual state of heightened alertness for a couple of decades. There was a particular family trip in our RV that seemed to epitomize my existence—a blown tire on the freeway, an engine catching fire, and an unexpected encounter with a sheep while descending a mountain. It felt like my life was a series of emergencies, and I was always bracing for the next one.
Understanding the Mind, Body, and Heart in Crisis
So, what happens in the mind, body, and heart when living in a constant state of emergency becomes the norm? It’s crucial to recognize that, as human beings, our choices are wired to satisfy the brain’s chemical needs. Every decision, every motivation boils down to fulfilling our six psychological needs: contribution, growth, significance, love and connection, control, and certainty—strikingly similar to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Here’s the catch: we can meet these needs either in the chaos of the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) or in the calmness of the parasympathetic nervous system. Deciphering which behaviors fulfill these needs and then rewiring our choices towards productive growth, instead of a destructive pattern, is key. Meditation, fostering a relaxed state, can unveil answers hidden in the intricate web of the subconscious mind.
The Pitfalls of Living on the Edge
Sadly, our brains will go to great lengths, even sabotaging or creating circumstances, to get that chemical fix. Scrolling on social media, for instance, may provide a short-term connection hit. Living in a perpetual state of emergency can lead to a drama addiction or an adrenaline-fueled existence, moving from one crisis to the next. We become so entangled in this chaotic way of life that slowing down seems impossible, as numerous depend on us to handle the next emergency.
The Power to Choose
If you find yourself caught in this cycle, remember that you have the power to choose. Despite feeling bound by addiction, there’s always a small, empowering choice you can make. It could be as simple as taking a deep breath, choosing silence over an argument, or appreciating the beauty around you.
Understanding the Belief Behind the Choice
Secondly, recognize that our beliefs shape our reality. We develop paradigms based on life circumstances, conditioning, or default wiring. Question these assumptions consciously, decide if you choose them, and break free from the cycle of repeating the same results.
The Secret of Understanding Life Lies in Patterns
Thirdly, observe patterns in your behavior and thoughts. Recognizing these patterns is the key to understanding life. By acknowledging them, you gain the insight needed to break free from unwanted cycles.
A Way Out: Learn, Apply, Share
After two decades of applying personal development principles, the most powerful pattern I’ve found is simple yet transformative—learn, apply, and share. Every choice to learn empowers you, offering a path towards growth. For more insights, explore the paradigms discussed in my YouTube series “Transformation from Darkness to Light.”
Finding Peace Amidst Chaos
If you’re stuck in a cycle of chaos, I have found powerful transformation by prioritizing training my body to feel safe through regular meditation and breathing exercises. Consciously choose peace over chaos, and understand that your body won’t relax until it feels safe to do so. Preventive practices will grant you more power, but even incorporating them during chaotic moments can retrain your body over time.
As a valuable resource, I recently discovered a video illustrating a powerful 10-second breathing method to slow down the heart rate. Practice this regularly, and you’ll equip your mind and body to handle chaotic moments more effectively.
Dr Andrew Huberman breaks down the science to help us teach our bodies how to never feel stress again with this breathing workout:
Wishing you victory on your journey,
Pennie Wilson, Certified Hypnotherapist